Irn-Bru

This is where I confess to being an Irn-Bruaholic but what’s Irn Bru you may ask?

Well, for those not in the know Irn Bru is the best selling soft drink in Scotland, it even out sells the mighty Coke and there are not that many countries where that happens!

Originally called Iron Brew, it was renamed Irn Bru when legislation was proposed that the contents should actually contain some iron. If this legislation was to have been enacted would have saved the steel mills at Gartcosh, Gargunnock and Ravenscraig from extinction. However the legislation fell by the way side (as does many Irn Bru bottles and cans) and following the collapse of the Clydeside ship building industry, the Scottish steel mills were closed. NOTE, there are no Irn Bru factories in Korea or Japan!

This amber, aerated, soft beverage has been the mainstay of Scotland’s’ culture since Partick Thistle last won anything important. It is extremely popular with the stoatin’ hame after a good swally at the pub set, the “Oh ma heed, never again” set , the I don’t remember eating THAT set and something for the wanes to wash doon their chips set. It has been accredited with several miracles, the most noteworthy is the ability to remove brown sauce stains from shell suits and being able to turn “white van man” into an normal rational human being. *

* Studies HEN BROON, STRATHCLYDE POLICE LABORATORY (note 1) et al, have accredited this miracle to the fact that van drivers have to regain rationality, devoting their entire attention to the can / bottle for fear of drowning or spilling the precious liquid down their overalls. Unfortunately the effects are not permanent, when the contents are drained the driver reverts to being a “knight of the road” courteous and considerate to all road users.
Note 1. Ah kannae spell Forrenzik, let alane Paffologi

Serving suggestions:

Served luke warm makes the ideal accompaniment to gourmet foods such as Fish or Black Pudding Suppers (that is Fish & chips and Black Pudding & chips to you).

Also the ideal accompaniment to the ideal evening in. What could be better than watching an old episode of Rab C. Nesbit, wearing a replica Nesbit team head bandage and string vest with a fish supper in one hand, the remote control in the other and a bottle of Barr Bru by the side of your black PVC lounge chair… ah heaven .

Barr Bru can be served icy cold and “flat” after having been left out on the door step all night with the top unscrewed because you forgot to pick up the bottle after opening the front door.

Irn Bru

Stane cald an’ oot o’er nicht

At its best when served straight from the fridge following a great night out with the boys as a hangover cure. The great benefit here is Irn Bru does not scratch your throat on the way back up!

Because of Irn-Bru’s miraculous “morning after” restorative qualities , a petition was placed before the Scottish Assembly to obtain Irn-Bru on the National Health but this proposal was rejected when it was realised that you would need a prescription and it would cost £6 odds per bottle!

HEALTH WARNING: Do not drink any more than ten gallons or you’ll rust!

Nature Spot

Bru Hen nest

A photy o ‘a Bru Burds’ nest.

The Bru hen usually lays a single egg and builds her nest indiscriminately along the highways and byways of Scotland. When laying, the Bru Burd does not stand for any formalities as they can be found just about anywhere, some can be seen lying flattened on the roadways.

This nest is from the more chunkier of the two native species of Bru Burd (Foo Fattus Kan) recognisable by its orange and silver markings. The eggs of the slender or (Hauf Fattus Kan) Bru Burd has a more whiter appearance.

The Burds are very nervous and elusive and therefore seldom seen, mainly because the urine is extracted from the hen burd to form a vital medical compound. This extract, usually referred as the “first extract” or I Bru p-Hen. The extract is used in conjunction with the juice from their eggs as a potent hangover remedy.

This page is written in homage and dedicated to the Barr family and all their hard working staff the Irn Bru foundries throughout Scotland. For further enlightenment follow the link to the Irn Bru web site. Nae kiddin’ by the way, inaurrrat.

The Irn-Bru and fish supper was provided by the Kelty Chippie and no Bru Burds were harmed in the making of this web page.

…. and remember never let the truth get in the way of a good story!

Irn-Bru is one of the things that Scots living abroad miss, so if you are going out to The States or Oz don’t forget to say how much that you enjoy drinking the stuff at home because having Barr Bru is much better than having year round sunshine, big motor cars and spiders that bite yer bum!

  1. #1 by Christine G. White on March 20, 2012 - 1:15 am

    It is good to know that there are still some other leading brands of softdrinks out there. I do hope that they continue to lead.

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